My HCG came in on Friday from my Thursday AM draw. Of course it is going down and the inevitable...is inevitable. I'm more okay with it, for the most part. I'm kind of glad it is dropping, now that we know this pregnancy is not viable. I am ready to get this horror show over! Anyway, the lab called me at 415p, 418p, 422p, 426 p, and 435pm. Twice the physician over the lab called and the other times it was the nurse. I got the first call while I was out and about and then did some nanny duties and realized my phone was blowing up. The messages are SO SAD. I feel BAD for the people who had to call me with their concern for me. I have been going to this lab for over a year during this whole ordeal. I finally get pregnant and its not viable. I have had the same nurse for every one of my draws and she and I feel like we have begun this journey together. Her messages got increasingly more sad with everyone she left. The physician, whom I did not know he even looked at my charts, explained the need and urgency to talk to my OB/GYN immediately and that he will go over the rough numbers with me if I need to and he even gave me an after hours number to call. No doubt that he did this because of Nurse Diana probably preempted him to call.
This is where I am ridiculous. This made me cry. Not the content of the messages...I've already come to accept what I cannot change. What made me sad was the fact that they had to be the bearers of bad news right before they went home on Friday. They had enough concern for me, that they called 5 times in 20 minutes to talk to me. I understand they are in the medical profession and this stuff does not get to them like it would me, but it still touched my heart. I won't lie, I did avoid the last call because after hearing the first message, I could not take actually talking to them. If it Was Nurse Diana, she already sounded jilted and if it was the doctor, I wasn't ready to hear some news that I already know and will be knowing more about on Monday.
Though I am okay (as I can be) with this, I am still taking The Husband with me on Monday. I tend to get choked up easily and my ADD mind goes haywire when I need to concentrate on what is at hand. He and I are discussing questions so that he won't forget and we will get answers to.
Some of which are..
1. Is there any testing available to see if this will be a perpetual thing? (I know they usually test after 3, but it never hurts to ask.
2. Does this happen more to women with PCOS?
3. What should I expect if I try to do this naturally?
4. Can I be prescribed anything to speed up the process? For pain? Muscle relaxer?
And the most important thing
5. When can we start trying for our miracle again?
I've been trying to catch the silver lining in all of this. I am trying to be thankful for the little things. While TTC, I always gauged my cycle by if I ovulated or not that month. If I O'd, I was just glad my body cooperated enough. If I didn't, I was just glad I am physically and financially able to be TTC right now. Lord knows there are some women that are not so lucky and my heart goes out to them. So with this, I am extremely and eternally grateful that we had made it this far. This is as far as we have ever made it and now we have a goal to pass up the next time. Also, I am now going to be able to get a U/S sooner to see if there is a problem earlier on. These are things I am grateful for.
Is there any other questions I should ask my doctor?
Did you ever have your progesterone checked? That can definitely be a factor, especially for women with PCOS (I'm there too! I've lost two due to low progesterone and have PCOS). That's another thing I would ask about. See if they'll check it at 7dpo to determine if you need to supplement after ovulation, since you usually can't "save" a pregnancy that starts out with low progesterone - it needs to be there at implantation.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I might ask if they will give you an RE referral. Even just for a consult. Best thing I ever did. You will learn so much and they are so much more proactive about monitoring, supplementing, etc.
Sending you huge hugs! I commented on your question on CCC-facebook too but thought I'd add some thoughts here. :)
My progesterone was 23.9 on CD 24 (7dpo) and I start progesterone suppositories at 2dpo. So I'm thinking this wasn't the issue..this time. Thank you for your input! This was our first and Im HOPING a fluke of nature, but no telling.
DeleteI think I am going to get an RE referral. Our only concern is our insurance does not cover anything "infertility" related so I have been able to be semi-monitored at my OB for a fraction of what I would have to pay at an RE. I know, I know...what is the cost in the long run... my husband is in public service and $$ is definitely a factor, unfortunately.