I'm getting desperate.

I wish I could show more excitement when I hear a friend is pregnant or I see one of the girls on a blog I follow is expecting. Really and genuinely i am so excited for them but then I realize the desperation on my part. I hate feeling like that. I feel so selfish and plain rude and that's not who I am. Clomid is really playing tricks on me! I'm constantly having to apologize for what I've said or did towards The Husband. Poor guy. I really wish this was "the month," but it's not looking that way :( if/when I start my cycle, I will begin my 4th month out of 6 that I will ever be able to take clomid. That's scary. I never thought I'd ever have to take more than a couple of months. I know the realty and that is very disheartening.