day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.


Lets see..Theres a lot I'd like to forgive myself for...I think the lousiest thing I've ever done was write my Grandma a letter after I graduated high school. I didn't even get a card or a call or anything from her. I was so upset. It was totally unlike her and not in her character. She was one of those people that would send a card and it'd be at the destination WITHOUT FAIL on the day it was supposed to be delivered. I wrote this letter out of anger and hurt and it all honesty I sent it to the wrong person. I should've sent it to my father, which is really who I was mad at. My grandma wrote me back and sent a $100 check and told me that she had colon cancer and had been going through chemo and radiation. To this day, that is the worst feeling I have ever had in my life. I was young and stupid but I just can't get over the fact that I did that.

Day 2

Since its past midnight now, I'll do day 2. :)

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.


I love the fact that I love to put others first. Not to a fault or anything, but I love doing for others if I can.

Day 1

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.


I hate that I'm always anxious about everything. I used to not be this way, but the older I get the worse it gets. Its not dibiliating by any means, but it is definitely a pain in the ass. I finally talked to my doctor about it and she prescribed me an antidepressant..but I only sold it to me as a 'mood stabilizer'..After reading more about it, the side effects were worse than the symptoms. Blah!

I need to write a little more.

I feel like Im always saying that..this time I'm really serious.

Time seems to be flying by. First it was Halloween, then Thanksgiving..and now Christmas. I looked at the calendar and DANG! We have it book solid. I'm not sure if I'm excited or if I'm not. I love this time of year and how it makes people feel. I also love the get togethers and seeing people you haven't seen in a long time. Speaking of seeing people..my cousin should be home from Afghanistan this weekend. Woohoo!

Anyway- to get me to WANT to write a little more. I've decided to start the 30 Days of Truth, borrowed from Noticing the Little Things.

Heres how it goes.....

30 Days of Truth:


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

My in-laws are awesome.


I can't say much more about that besides the fact that..I know how blessed I am to have them. I hear horror stories about how much trouble a lot of mother in laws can be and what not...and I just can't relate. My mother in law is a pure gem. She devulges a lot and also takes the time to listen. My father in law..is just that. Someone I've never had in my life before. Its pretty awesome! AND not to mention my grandmas in law...... After losing my Poppies and my Grandma, it was really hard seeing people with their grandparents. Kyle never really has had to go through death like I have had to. His Nannie and Grammy have accepted me and loved me as if they've know me my whole life.  I just had to say all that. I appreciate them so much.

So here I am!

This whole not being able to sleep like a normal person is really getting to me. Everyone says.."Just go lay down"..Oh really? Because if it was that easy..I wouldn't be awake to hear you say that rubbish to me. I had my blood work done and I found out that I do, in facy, hypothyroidism. Now how they're going to treat it is what I get to find out next week. Have I mentioned lately how much insurance is a pain? We pay a ridiculous amount every month and I end up doing all the work to get whatever papers MY insurance needs, just to have them DENY my claim. Thank you, Insurance. I do appreciate most of what they do, I'm just having a crappy day whit the 3 letters I got at the same time asking for information they shouldve asked me LAST year when I was put on insurance. Whatever.

When it rains it storms. This week has been some sort of crap storm after another and for some weird reason I'm totally okay with it. I think the past few weeks I've been freaked out about getting blood work. Then getting the results. Now I know so I can not stress so much.

So heres to thinking like this..



Old Navy and me.

Can I just say how much I LOOOOOOOOOVE Old Navy?


Im pretty sure its always been one of my favorite stores..especially for just everyday clothes. I caught it this weekend with the 50% off clearance. Schwing!!!!


I got 19 articles for $43. Thats flipping insane! If it wasn't so late I'd take pictures of it all. But rest assured its a lot. Everything from 3 hoodies..to nice shirts..to t-shirts..to polos. LOVE IT!

This proves how great of a shopper I am. I hate spending money when I don't need to. I was going to buy some long sleeve shirts to wear with my vest anyway. WHY NOT NOW? Especially for $2?

My brother just recently got a house and had absolutely no furniture except a mattress, 2 old chairs, and a blow up mattress. I told him to get $200 and I'll come in town and help him out. So last weekend, we loaded up the car and headed to San Antonio. We stopped at one thrift store and were a little sad we didnt find ONE thing. We stopped at Goodwill and there was a sign on the door that said 50% off furniture. We ran in there and got him a couch ($10!!!!! SERIOUSLY), two end tables (Each were $7),  dresser ($30), dinette set ($50), and a desk ($20). These were all after the discount..so  after taxes he was at $130 or so. Then he needed blinds. This is just a rent house and he has 20+ windows in his house anyway...he spend the other $70 on blinds. I was SO proud of him and myself. I even gave him the confidence to start shopping for washer and dryers. He got a 3 year old set for $150!!!!!

I'm really not a "cheap skate". I'm just someone who works too damn hard for not enough money and I'm so glad I've got the time and patience to get the best deals.





on a side note

the weather is PERFECT.

I hope you're having a fabulous weekend. :)

9/16/10

My sleep schedule has been so messed up as of late. I go to bed at 2 or 2:30am, I wake up at 6:30 am, I take a nap at 1pm, I come home and sometimes fall asleep at 8pm, and wake up at 11pm. Holy moly! What I'd give to actually go to bed at 11pm. Before you say "Just stay up"..I try! Its not that easy for me! Tomorrow is Friday so I'll keep the complaining to a minimum. Oh wait..today is Friday. Even better!

My cousin Johnny absolutely made my night. I signed on to facebook and saw he wrote on my wall. Normally I could careless who or who does not send me something on there but him..its totally different. He's in Afgahnistan and has a newborn son, also named Johnny, who he has yet to meet. He's gone throw some losses the last few weeks, but overall is doing alright. Growing up he was like an older brother to me. I have an older brother, but he's 9 years older than me. Johnny is only 2 or 3 years older than me. Regardless, this man makes me so proud to be his cousin. No matter what he does, he does it with conviction and dedication without missing a beat. He's been deployed since May and luckily gets home by the holidays (fingers crossed, I know how the military works. :) )

Thinking of him makes me appreciate everything I have more. I'm already someone who thanks God for everything I have. I've been dealt a crappy hand of cards many of times, but yet I always prevail. I've been fortuante in the friends and family I have and the decisions I've made. And also the oppotunites that I've been able to partake in as well as their outcomes. I've always been a Carpe Diem kind of girl but as of late..mostly the last year or so..I honestly haven't been. Here's to doing it my way..

25

So here I am! I havent blogged in over a month..but Lord knows Ive got plenty to talk about. We decided that we were going on vacation at the end of August. We had every intention on going to 8/28 in DC but our inlaws had some prior engagements that stopped them from going. So we decided to do something else. We went from wanting to go to Cozumel, to NYC, to Hawaii. Hawaii won! Thank goodness! It was so absolutely amazing! I got to meet a long time friend that...I never actually have met before. Weird, huh? She was fabulous. Her blog is equally as awesome. Anyway..we did lots of stuff..Hiked Diamond Head, hiked Manoa Falls, went to the Dole Plantation, the birthing stones, north shore, ala moana mall, the beach(!!!)..and mostly just enjoyed each other. We dont get to see each other nearly as much as we should and it was nice to have a week with his undivided attention. Also..something else very exciting...I turned 25!!!!!!! What an amazing thing. However, Im pretty sure Im not counting birthdays after this one. I woke up and looked at my phone and found all sorts of love from friends and family. I couldn't help but notice one person was noticiably absent. All day, I waited..without waiting. Does that make sense? Of course HE didn't wish me happy birthday.  I'm only your only child..the only family you have left. Awesome. It was kind of bittersweet. We've never had a great relationship. Let me rephrase that..we've never really had A relationship. It was a good time to just let go of any hope for one and realize the life I live is..just that. Mine. I can thank a lot of people for that. Mainly myself, Kyle, my mom, and my Poppies. My in-laws are pretty awesome too. :)

Moving on from that Debbie Downer crap-
We spent my 25 in Hawaii and then flew home that night (or morning, rather). Before I left I had planned on having a Labor Day LUAU! So excited! Itll be in honor of my birthday, my cousin, Shawn's (10 days..and many years before mine) and Labor Day of course. My best friends will all be there (except one). SO pumped! I'll definitely post a few pictures of the festivities.

Have a fabulous Labor Day, yall!

4TH OF JULY..again?

I cannot believe our anniversary is next weekend. Seriously, this year has been a whirlwind. This year, I have gained a lot of insight...I love it! I don't know what it is..if its the anniversary of my grandma's passing, our anniversary, my cousin being deployed..lately I've been very emotional. I'm so grateful for everything I have. Everything I could have....and everyone in my life.  

Just looking at these pictures makes me tear up.

((What a sweet man. We were so young when we met, and now look...We've not only grown up, but we've grown together. Its everything I could have ever dreamed of.))

ANYWAY..

moving on..  I am so excited for this weekend to get started. Tomorrow we are going to take a little trip to IKEA and check out some GROWN UP FURNITURE. ha! Little steps, yall. Then on Sunday...hopefully it doesn't rain too bad and we're headed to my sister's house to enjoy a little family time. I can't wait to see my nephews and my brother. :)

AND I CANT WAIT TO MAKE THESE!!!

So excited! Then on Monday, we're having a very relaxing day at the neighbors/Kyle's parents.

I hope you and your's have an amazing weekend. Stay safe, yall!

sometime's life is okay.

I wish I had a better exscuse for where I've been. I haven't been incredible busy or doing much of anything really. I guess I've just been enjoying summer. Its crazy to think, that when I was in high school I wanted to be a writer and now I find it very hard to take the time out of my day to sit down and write. What's with this? maybe I actually have finally started with some "hobbies." I'm taking the Wilton Cake Decorating class at my Hobby Lobby. So fun!!!!! Seriously, why didn't I do this before! I can't wait for next month..Fondant!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!

6/1/10

Today is the Tuesday after Memorial Day. Its a day a lot of people dread, and for our family its a day we've been dreading it more than most. My cousin, Johnny, was deployed today. He's married to AN AMAZING woman and they're expecting they're first child, due in August. We grew up together in San Antonio. My aunt would take care of me while my mom was working and my sister and brother were at school. It was GI JOES and Hot Wheels for so many years. We'd make mud pies in the back yard and my Aunt Marilyn would throw us, Johnny, Cody, and myself, in the tub together to try to get a little clean. Though he's been living in San Diego for a year and I don't get to see him nearly as often as I like, I know we have the bond that a lot of cousins wish they had. I don't think twice to say I love him, and he doesn't think twice to say he loves me. I'm so proud to say my cousin is doing what he's doing and he's doing a DAMN GOOD job at it. If you get the chance, send a little prayer his way.

Well holy moly! I keep meaning to get back on here and post a picture of my new hair...except I keep forgetting. Blah! I'd take a picture right now but..I really don't want to give anyone nightmares. :)

Today is kind of a bitter sweet day for me. Two years ago, my Poppies past away. I really like to think that he passed away on Memorial Day for so many reasons. My father was(is) mostly absent in my life. He only comes up and decides to be a part of it when he wants to. My Poppies has been there for me through everything. He'd give me advice even if I didn't want it but most of all, he just wanted me to be happy. He taught me so much about life and love and everything in between. It was an honor to be called his granddaughter. Being his youngest granddaughter, we had the most special relationship imaginable. I took in every word and jumped on every chance to hang out with him. I'm so glad I did. He and I could just look at each other and know what we were thinking. I really think theres a few people in this world that you will every feel that way with. Usually its your soul mate, sometimes a parent or a friend. I am lucky to have all of that. I was looking for the most recent picture I have of him that makes me smile and this would definitely be it.

It would've been very hard for me to have married my husband without my Poppies approval. Kyle proposed to me 3 months after my Poppies had passed away. I felt ridiculous when I cried on the way home because I wish I could've called him to tell him. At our wedding, I held it in until we got to in the limo. I started crying ridiculously because I missed him and my Grandma Dot. The way my husband consoled me is something I'll never forget.

I take peace in knowing my Poppies has saved me a pretty awesome fishing spot in heaven.

Thar she goes!

So my husband has been out of town since Sunday....its only Tuesday (SHEEESH! It feels way longer than that)...and I'm trying to take that time and do a little something for myself. I went and got my nails done on mother's day with my mom and sister and tomorrow I am going to go whack my hair off. I used to be so down with anything that involves my hair, but now that I've let it grow to the middle of my back, I feel like I should keep it that way. Then I realize that doesn't make any sense in this Texas heat.

This is what I'm thinking...The Lauren Conrad medium bob.

I'm in love with it. I had this style before, but it was more of a blunt cut and was more layered. Im pretty excited for my appointment tomorrow.

Here's my before...

Lets hope it goes well!!

Mother's Day

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so passive aggressive with my own emotions. Passive agressivenes is one of my biggest pet peeves, yet I find I do the exact same thing with myself. Crazy.  Today I've been really short with everyone. I don't think anyone has taken offense..and hopefully they haven't, I really don't mean it.

My day started out with bunches of kisses and love while I was sleeping. No, I'm not talking about Shiner this time..Kyle was telling me good bye. I wish I would've woke up more to give him a real hug. He's left for a week for training. Bummer. I don't know why it tears me up so much about him being gone for 6 days. We used to live 250 miles away for goodness sake! I finally get up and get to moving and make my world famous 'nanner puddin' and get dressed to meet my mom and sister. We went to get our nails done and then brought my youngest nephew with us to do a little shopping. I love spending time with them..plus my toes are ADORABLE! I haven't gotten them done since the wedding. What is happening to me? I used to get them done all the time. :) I guess thatll have to change! We came back home around 5 and then I decided to come home. They were eating crab legs for dinner. I can't eat crab. I shouldn't say I "can't" because I physically can..I just DONT WANNA! So I headed home and made some nachos and fell asleep for 3 hours or so. I felt so bad I was missing all of Kyle's calls. I finanlly woke up and talked to him for a few minutes and then had an ice cream cone...ok 2 ice cream cones and here I am.

The point of that detailed paragraph of what I did today was to show, I did do stuff and I had fun...but I still was very quiet and disconnected all day. I couldn't figure it out. I blamed it on Kyle being away, until I was mean to him on the phone. In fact he is the one who made me step back and think. It all hit me when I asked if he had called his grandma for Mother's Day.

This is the first year I've been without my Grandma Dot on Mother's Day.

 We went to visit in May of 2009 to have a reception so she could be a part of our wedding. It was probably the best thing I have ever done in my life. I was going to post a picture of her with us then..but thats not how want to remember her. She was a very open and honest loud mouth English/French and Italian by marriage lady. Beautiful by nature and elegant by birth. She was an amazing woman who did amazing things. I really hope theres a lot of her in me.

On this Mother's Day I also am thinking of my other grandma, Grandma Dodie. She was a short little spit fire with so much love it could fill a room. She had a voice like an angel and dance moves that were only fit for Fred Astaire. My sister has a lot of her charactersitcs, my moms says.

Both of which, we lost to cancer.

Today I just want to sit back and enjoy everything they have taught me and embrace every second that we had with them. Then that brings me to embracing every second we have with all of our loved ones.

Run, Shannon, Run.

I know its been a little longer than a day for me to come back with something useful and insightful. But, I promise this is worth it!

wait for it..wait for it..


I started to run again!

Im on The Couch-to-5K plan. http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml I am so excited to start this! I have no more excuses. And for once..Im excited about working out!

Before I met my husband, I was into working out...a lot. I'd run in the morning, go to the gym, and run at night. AND THEN I met my soon-to-be husband. Since he was living 4 hours away, we were always maxamizing our time together so we would eat out and go get drinks, etc. That meant the pounds and pounds and pounds added on. Okay not that extreme but Im back to where I started before I started working out. My husband has now been running 5 miles, 3 times a week and has dropped 30 pounds almost. HOLY MOLY! If you only knew how thin my husband is already...its insane. So now Im playing catch up.


My goal it have my last years swim suit fit loose on me..if it fits loose...I've done my duty! Plus, I want to finish this program...if I can do that too, I will be ECSTATIC!!

Back in the swing of things.

This has been a long time coming.
I've been waiting to get a computer again, and I DO...and now what? I sit here with every word I was going to write(say) escapes me. I always think of good things to write about when Im int he most inconvenient place to remember it or write them down. Like driving in a rain storm or just stepped into a long, hot shower.

So here's my goal for tomorrow:
Have something productive to write about. Baking comes natural, but I can just read all that, no need to really "write it".

What happened to 2009?

Its been way too long!!

Our computer has totally crapped out on us, so I had to stop blogging for a while.....BUT never fear, we're getting a new one this weekend, I believe. :) So I'll definitely be a regular blogger since I'll be home a lot more and Kyle will be at work a lot more.

Where do I even begin?

-Im starting a cupcake business.
-Kyle switched shifts so we actually have a weekend day off for the first time in 5 years.
-We moved into an awesome house down the street from his parents. :)
-We are eliminating our debt pretty steadily.
-Starting school again in the fall.
-Married life is pretty fabulous.


Seriously, I dont know what happened to 2009. Why did it have to go so fast? It was a pretty fabulous year besides losing my lovely Grandma Dot. This year is looking pretty good as well. We've already scheduled our river trip for the summer and we're going to Washington DC with Kyle's parents. Super excited!! Thats my little catch up for the last 6 months ha! More to come this weekend.....