Newtown, CT

I didn't want to have to talk about the tragedy in Newtown, CT...but I feel like I need to. I mean, who really wants to talk about something so torrific as this? I'm still in shock that it happened, to be honest.

 In The Husband's line of work, it is expected that there is an element of danger. When he first became a jailer and then put himself through the academy..it was hard transition. I'm glad that I was there from the beginning. It made the whole process a lot easier for both of us. In law enforcement, there is that adrenaline rush and that aspect of danger. The Husband came to me and told me something that I had been thinking. He told me that with his work it was a given, but with my future line of work...who would've thought? I'm in school to obtain a degree in Education. Obviously I don't live in a land of lollipops and gumdrops, but its just simply disgusting to think that it is now becoming a given in that line of work, too. It's hard for me not to imagine scenarios of 'could' happen in my head. I'd like to think that I would be a Vicki Soto. Every one of the adults were amazing, but her story has struck me. She is my age and had the same fire in her to teach and protect children as I do. We need more Vicki Soto's in this world!

I pray for everyone who lost their lives on 12.14.12. I cannot imagine the pain that anyone dealing with the aftermath is going through. I searched the web for a long time looking for the best picture that I could find that depicted this tragedy for me.

This is what I found. It shows in the brink of tragedy and evil in this world, the good come together and protect each other. I know this hit a lot of IFers very hard. It's hard to understand why we can't have children and then to see something like that brings a whole new fear and unexplained tragedies.

I saw someone write that they were "upset" that parents were saying they were "holding their children tighter" tonight. They didn't understand why they weren't holding them as tight as possible anyway. I think if you feel that way, it may be a great time to take a break. Honestly. I have been in some very dark places in my journey, more-so in the past year, but if I had ever thought loving parents were cruel..then I am in this for the wrong reasons. We all grieve in different ways and it does not make any better than the other. I hope we can all learn from this and become more well-aware and understanding of each other..instead of letting it divide us.

Think of these precious children and adults who won't be having a Christmas this year. They're innocence and their bravery should be motivation enough for all of us to do the right thing. God bless you and Merry Christmas!



December, is that you?

It's been pretty eventful lately...not! Well sort of kind of, at least in the world of TTC. I did not end up getting my provera RX. I just had a feeling I did O after the m/c and I would start on my own naturally. I was right, for once! it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated but I am glad that is over. I started soy isoflavones CD 5-8 (though I know people take them earlier, I really just decided last minute). I've started OPKs but just out of habit not necessity. I'll take it seriously in a few days.

I've had a hard couple of days with work drama with The Husband and just feeling overwhelmed lately. I waited until The Husband went to bed last night and sat on the floor praying and crying and praying and crying. I feel so much better today. I fell refreshed and able to take everything on again. It's weird to say..and chances are its the soy helping pump that estrogen..but...I have felt a "big cry" coming for a week now. Almost as if, I just needed to get it all out so I can move on. I did..and I feel pretty good now!

In spirit of looking towards the future and all that I am looking forward to or am grateful for... I figured I'd make myself  a list..

1. Ugly Sweater Party next weekend!
2. My friends coming into town!
3. Actually starting on my own
4. My sweet puppies!
5. CHRISTMAS!!
6. Getting back to TTC life.
7. Hopefully starting back at acupuncture next month!

Obviously I am also so grateful for The Husband and the most amazing family and friends I could have been blessed with!

With being excited for the Ugly Sweater Party, I am starting to get ready with gathering my recipes and the food I want to make. I'm having a hard time deciding exactly what I want to serve!

What are your Christmas party plans? What is your favorite recipe for the festivities?

stress overload!

I've taken an unwanted absence because of school. It finally caught up with me! Everything we have dealt with over the past 4 months finally has come to a head when talking about school. I'm waiting for AF to show and she is wanting to take her dang time. I really hate taking provera or as The Husband refers to them.. "bitch pills" for obvious reasons. :) Besides that, life has been just fine. It's not always pretty, but we get through don't we? I'm highly anticipating the end of my classes and the beginning of the holidays! I've been working hard to finish early and be done before Thanksgiving. I work next week on Monday and Tuesday while The Husband is off ALL week! The only thing that is getting me through the next few days is the fact that I will have ALL of Wednesday off with The Husband. I told him early, we will be doing nothing but lovin'! We've missed each other so much and we need that day to decompress. I may even get him to pull down the Christmas decorations!! :) I CANT WAIT!!!

In case I do not get back on before then, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your's!

November!

I'm so excited that it's November! Pretty much I just like to refer to November as the month of everything pumpkin. I have no complaints there! :) I had someone ask me if it was too early to put up their Christmas decorations. I told her "you're asking the wrong lady!" If I got in the attic (I refuse!) I would have already pulled them out and have them ready to be put up in the next two weeks. The Husband rations me and will make me wait until Black Friday, like that will stop me or something!  My theory is, set them up whenever!..and just don't invite anyone to your house. Then no one will know you are crazy!

School has been absolutely kicking my in the ass and I'm trying to take it like a champ. I have 3 major projects coming up that I need to concentrate on, but it gets hard! Hopefully I will be done with one in the next couple of days so then I only have 2 more to work on. Last night I was taking one of my last exams (early, might I add) and I got a wave of dizziness and nausea at the same time. I had to finish and lay on the couch to even finish getting The Husband's uniform pressed for the morning. I could barely stand up and the room was spinning. It was so strange! I'm trying not to symptom spot, but its hard when you feel so crappy. I slept about 9 hours and now I am feeling remarkably better! Thank the LORD!

Today is a day I have been anticipating for a week! Ugly Sweater Party SHOPPING! Okay, I'll admit, you add "shopping" to the end of anything and I'm in! "Casket shopping".."wheel chair shopping"....its all the same, right?  Anyway, I'm so excited to see what kind of gem I can find this year.   This little one to the right is from a couple of years ago. It may have been from the first Ugly Sweater Party we've thrown, actually. My BFF and went and had 'professional' pictures made at Target. ha! It was awesome. Notice the little bear? How sweat do I look!!! Though, you can't see the little flamingos on my sweater, it still is pretty great.

After the year we've had, this Sweater Party is going to need to be AMAZING!! :)

Christmas, where are you?

Who would've thought I would be excited for Christmas? I am so pumped that I can hardly wait to pull out all the decorations out of the attic and start setting up our tree.

 After the miscarriage, I thought this Christmas would be horrible. Pure terror and despair, really. I am excited that I am going be able to celebrate it AND even better, I am eager for it to get here. This makes me happier the more I think about it. The holidays are big for us and, honestly, after Halloween...its all a blur! We do Thanksgiving big..and Black Friday BIGGER! Shortly after that we have our Annual Ugly Sweater Party...and then its time for Christmas festivities!

This week I went ahead and ordered all of my seasonal favorites from my Scentsy girl. After those get here, it will be hard not to decorate! They always get me in the mood for pumpkin pie and "Santa Baby" blaring!

What is your favorite part about this time of year?

Wedding bells for a friend.

Today I was fortunate to drive out to Cut-N-Shoot, Texas (I LOVE the name of this town!) to see a wonderful friend get married. The Husband worked 16 hours today and had no means of getting off, so I was able to go with a fabulous friend! It was beautiful! 

How could I not smile obnoxiously while Im stitting right by the margarita machine and the self-serve bar? This was the best seat in town, yall!

Can I just say it was all about coordination this evening? As you can tell, N is wearing the wedding colors (unknowingly...or not :) ) and I am wearing purple to match the lady whos backside is photo bombing our picture. Beautiful! It does not get better than that. Actually..the whole sitting next to the margarita machine and self-serve bar made it way better..but at this point, this was as good as it gets!

I love weddings! I love the vows, the people (Sometimes haha), the food, the drinks, the dancing(!!!!!!)..everything. I love getting invited and being a part of someone's special day. I felt so dumb today! I could not find a bag for the gift. Its in a box and its misshaped rectangle. I mean that, as it wont fit in a standard size bag! Dumb! So I had to be that person telling the bride, "I'm going to bring your gift after your honeymoon! I swear I have it and I'm not cheap..but you see the bag was too small...and I went to 3 different stores and couldnt find one big enough..and Im not the wrapping paper kind of girl." Okay, okay..I didn't say all that, though I probably would have. Did I ever write what I said to the US customs guy? Its almost embaressing..if you're not me that is! :) Anyway- so I'll be meeting up with her in a couple of weeks. Ill try to keep The Husband from using the can opener and cutting board until then.

Switching gears, I'm glad to say that midterms are over and I can breath a little..until tomorrow that is. I have so much work to do tomorrow its unreal. I've put it off because The Husband was working and I knew he'd be on patrol for 2 12s and 1 16 this weekend, so I wanted to spend time with him this week while I could. Then there was the wedding and let's face it, normally I would come home and do homework but the older I get...the more I appreciate a good buzz! I love not drinking very much anymore. You know because its good for me and all..and...mostly because when I have 2 beers now I feel good. :)  Really, thats why I like not drinking anymore.

Its really nice to not be talking about TTC BS.... Though I've had EWCM for two days. Weird. More weird that when I told The Husband I had "evidence" of Oing..he said "egg white cervical muscus"...yes, honey..do you have to be so gross? hahah! We're taking the month of and since its his long weekend anyway, I don't see any BD time in our future. That's okay, but part of me does kind of want to throw a huge pity party.

Onwards and upwards, right?

Prayers for Baby A

I'd like to ask for prayers for a friend of mine who had her baby early this morning at 24 weeks. Baby A is fighting and holding on but she could definitely use some prayers! Lord, be with this child!