Today is a new day!

I'm ABSOLUTELY done with the pity party and rerady to move on. The Husband insisted I get over what the acupuncturist said and keep my eye on the prize. It gets scary, though, being at these last 3 cycles. I have begun my Chinese herbs today and am hapy that they're easy to take. I am the worst medicine taker ever, so having my seal of approval pretty much means a toddler could take them. :)

I got up this morning and dusted myself off and looked in the mirror and reminded myself...

Though it seems like all I do is complain, I guarantee that I am (usually) a very 'sunny' person. I love to laugh and I LOVE to make people laugh. I've been letting IF take that from me and, for that, I need to find another way to cope.

I am glad that besides the IF, I am a healthy person.

And to be honest, even the bad days are better than some people's good days..and I couldn't be happier to spend them with my Husband. We celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary on Wednesday. I don't say it enough, this many is so amazing- I wonder how I got so lucky to find my other half!

A kick in the gut.

I was just thinking about how I haven't written in a while. Life has actually be pretty good. My attitude has been okay and so has my look-out....so I thought. I began acupuncture last friday (consequently my O day). It was awesome!!! It did not hurt as I was so relaxed afterwards. I slept the best I have in years. Even if it is psychosomatic, at least I'm benefiting! Today was my second appointment. I has been so excited to go and discuss my week and my BBT with her That's where I had a kick in the gut. She told me according to my chart, there is no conceivable way I could carry a viable pregnancy. Ouch. Thanks, for that. I began a more "intensive" treatment along with some Chinese herbs. Which sounds great-but after not conceiving for how many years....?......I am not mentally prepared for all the disappointment. I really thought this was our month. I've had symptoms this month that I have never had before. The Husband told me to not discount myself just yet this month-but to be honest, it's way easier to just assume its not going to be it for us this month. That scares me. Then we're only left to two more rounds of clomid. :( I wish I could unwind.