Family ...shmamily.

So where to begin this little tale? The beginning is far too long and the end is pretty tragic. I'm not too sure.

Let me begin with, I'm Italian. I do everything 100%. A lot of times I get hurt in the process, but thus far, my brother is the only one who has been able to hurt me the most in my life.

My nephew has an iphone that I pay for. Yes, I know, bad mistake. He has one over his limits and keeps adding $40-50 to each bill. Its pretty ridiculous. His excuse is that "his phone plan sucks." Sorry buddy, not a good excuse. Long end of a short story, I asked him to call me and he told me "nah." I got pissed. I told him he needs an attitude adjustment and that he needs to call me. Pretty much he never called me. Instead he called his dad to tattle on me. This has go back and forth and back and forth. I have allowed myself to get SO ANGRY over this. He is 14...not 44. He needs to treat his family with respect. I have always been this guy's advocate and his confidante and for him to do this is like a big slap in the face.

I let that brew for 2 days.

Then I heard my brother's half-brother (he wasn't very close, but its his half-brother  nonetheless) passed away unexpectantly. I called to make my mends and give him my condolences. Instead of wanting to talk this out like adults I got the coldest shoulder. He told me "Yea, yeah..ok. You don't have to say anymore." When I tried to tell him we should talk about this phone thing he said, "Don't even worry about it, dont worry. Just cancel the sucker. Just do it. Forget it. Its sad that people have to fight over something so silly when people are dying out of nowhere. Just forget it..." I was pissed. This was all the while I was saying "This isnt about a phone!" He said "SURE IT IS!" Anyway, we kept talking over each other and did not accomplish anything. In fact, the only thing that was accomplished was me bawling my eyes out and screaming "ARE YOU F------NG KIDDING ME?!" and then him hanging up on me. I usualyl do not let people get the better of me..but lets be honest. This is my older brother. My dad was never there and besides my Poppies (GRHS)...this is it. For me to be absolutely rejected by him over something like this is insane. And on top of being insane, lets talk about his kid not respecting me. If this was my son doing that to him...........He would be walking crooked. This is not right.



And while I was writing this I decided to look at my phone bill. He has decided to rack up $80 in data charges. Wow. I did not even know that was possible. I am so upset. I feel betrayed in the worst kind of way.

Thanksgiving...and more importantly..Black Friday!

Lets start with the food...because letsbehonest...Its one of my favorite days of the year. I had anticipated this day to be pretty horrible. I mean that with all kindness and everything, I just thought it would not be a great day for me. I had scheduled my procedure for the day before hoping I'd be good (and thank God I was!) and I had also tried to plan some of the food for the feast at my sister's house. The Husband and I had decided to skip out on his family's dinner this year due to trying to avoid getting upset. We figured some of his family that was involved in our botched adoption process would be there and to be quite honest, I'm really not ready to handle that. ESPECIALLY on the day after the procedure! Though I'm healing (from both, the procedure and the adoption) I'm still trying to get to 100%. Thank God for great family and friends...and SCHOOL. Who would've thought I would have said that last one?! :) So, I ended up eating with my sister and her family and my mom and running home to meet the Husband who just got off work. Though I had already eaten, it was nice to sit at the table with him and have him tell me, "I am thankful for you." I just needed to hear those 5 little words. It's been a rough year all around for everyone. I'm actually in a great place, but its not without a lot of work and stubbroness, really. I changed clothes and he fell asleep as I watched Elf.....for the 6-7 time. I am not kidding!! (Smiling is my favorite!)

Then I get the text 2 hours earlier than we had planned on going...


"Are you ready?!"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!

This is my day! I shop and condition for this! I had woken up at 445 am on Thanksgiving morning and did not get in bed until 845 on Black Friday. That is pretty awesome. We made it to Old Navy (and got the camera!), Kohl's (had a horrible line), Target (AWESOME!), and Wal-Mart (Pretty awesome!). ..oh and Big Lots (Ok!).

Every year we learn and perfect our Black Friday Shopping. Hopefully next year I can coax Louise to come experience it with us :) . Next year, I may skip out on Kohl's..at least hold off on it. Old Navy was a great place to do this year! We got waterproof cameras with a $40 purchase! They're good cameras too! Target was AWESOME!!! My trick was to go at 2 am. Everyone had gotten what they wanted and hit Wal-Mart and gone home. We were one of 15 shoppers at Target when we went. There were a few more at Wal-Mart but not much.

I think our two BEST buys of the day were :
- $12 Chef's mat at Big Lots. WE LOVE THIS THING!!!!!! Noo more hurting feet while I bake!
- $20 blow up Snowman from Wal-Mart. This thing has a story!

We were grabbing a few things while we were there, mostly we went to get a $20 blow up Santa for my sister. We were across the store and she asked where they were so I pointed and said "THERE! They're blown up!" So we go and look and look. There was no box in site! Finally we asked someone and they said they do not have any. OH great. Well I looked at the ad and looked at the one's blown up. They were the exact same! The only problem was they were about 15' in the air on this big shelf! We asked if we could buy them and they asked about 4 people and they finally said YES!!! Well at that point I decided to go ahead and get the snowman...especially if they're working on getting the Santa anyway. We waited..and waited...and waited..FOREVER! 35 minutes later they came with the lift and got them down! People were so excited we had them and had thought we found them somewhere. Dummies! They couldve asked just like we did!

Now to prepare for the Ugly Sweater Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEEP procedure. I survived!

I've been on complete edge for the last few weeks, anticipating the arrival date of my procedure. I was absolutely freaked out to put it kindly. I was also freaked that it may damper my Black Friday traditions of being a loon and staying up all night fighting for good deal and spending some QT with my mom and sister.

Let me just say, all my fears were deminshed pretty quickly! They gave me the pamphlet and it really just scared me more. I looked up the procedure (Even on youtube...BAD DECISION!) and searched for reviews. As of right now (almost a week after) I am doing pretty darn great. I have no discomfort at all and am excited for 2012. Bring on the baby makin!

Pretty much the worst part was the anticipation before the procedure. The day of, I was sore and the day after I was just a little off. By the third day, I was truckin along!

They gave me a Xanax before, which by the way, DID NOT relieve my anxiety. I tried to tell them that. Mostly I think they gave it to me so I wouldn't fight back. :) Then I get on the table and they adminsitered a shot in 4 locations. The 1 spot kind of hurt (and I hate needles) but by the time she was at the 2nd or 3rd spot, I was good. When she preformed the actual procedure, I only felt like she was preforming a pap but I had no discomfort. The only time it hurt was with the forceps.

Moral of the story is, Im SO GLAD I didn't change my appointment (again, I know, Im bad). And Im also glad that this is behind me for right now. If I have to do this again, I will at least know what I am standing against.

 Thanks for the kind thoughts and prayers, yall.

One hurdle done, 10 more to go.

I'm not even sure where to start, it's been so long!

Let me start with the easy stuff. School is going pretty awesome! I am kicking butt and taking names. I can't wait to be able to transfer and hopefully that will be next fall! Woohoo! My plan is to be on the President's list this whole year! Halloween was last night and that means one thing...Christmas candy and decorations are only 3 weeks away!! And even better Black Friday is coming. Awwwwyeah!

Lets move on to the harder stuff-
So we were looking into adopting within our family this year. Shocker, huh? Well after being 'approved' then us making an appointment with our attorney, we were asked to meet up again at our house where our hearts were repeatedly ripped to shreds. I'm really okay and trying to get over it, seeing that its been a couple of months now. Well the whole comping thing worked until I got on facebook to see that pictures had been posted. It was very sobering for me. I guess I never thought that moment would really happen. I know that's very naive to say, but its the honest truth. So here we are 3 weeks for Thanksgiving and instead of preparing myself for my favorite holiday and 2nd favorite holiday (being Black Friday, obviously!) I am fretting that they will show up at Thanksgiving Dinner. I can internalize a lot and deal with things on my own inside my own home...but to actually physically be in the situation? I am not sure I am up for that battle.

So for the next 3 weeks, school will actually be my escape! I'm not sure I have ever said that before!

xoxo