6 months

It sure has been a long time since I last blogged. Its almost as if I felt the need to share the bad and not the good. Well, here is some good! My little miracle, Ryan James, was 6 months on August 22nd, 2014! Wow! I really still cannot comprehend that I have almost a 7 month old little charmer. He is rolling all over the place and sitting up like a champ. We just moved him to his bed a week or so ago and he is sleeping in there better than ever. Why didn't we do that sooner? As the school year is speeding up already, its hard to feel like I am already missing out on so much.---and I'm able to be with him all day! I can't wait to take this stinker to see some pumpkins, pick out Christmas ornaments, make pumpkin pie, and snuggle up and read Christmas stories! He gets dedicated in front of our congregation later this month and I am ecstatic! I never thought that I would be doing this, honestly. I knew getting pregnant and having my angel was the ultimate goal, though I never saw myself and my husband reaching that point. Crazy to say that, but its true. Sometimes along the journey you can lose sight of what you are really pursuing. So as we sit here and are fastly approaching 7 months, I have to remind myself that each day is a miracle that we so deeply wanted. I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure its not a dream. With that, I'll leave you with some pictures of my cutie!

21 weeks 4 days

Holy moly! How have I not posted on here in such a long time? Insanity, I tell you! Currently I am 21w4d and feeling every bit of it. I have never been so excited for Thanksgiving in my life (foooooooooooood!) and I feel like I'm counting down for that more than Ryan's big debut! I'm sure after it passes, I'll be able to concentrate on more important things :)  Currently, I am still in school and trying my hardest to not get too excited about other things. This has by far been one of my hardest semesters....all because my mind is every where else except where it needs to be. I guess there is a good reason for that, though! 

We had our anatomy scan almost 2 weeks ago and as excited as I was for it, it was torture! What the hell What To Expect When You're Expecting--thanks for telling me that passing out during an ultrasound 'is normal'--OH WAIT, you didn't! I had a really hard time even getting through the whole ordeal and we still didn't get all the measurements of this little dude like we should've SO- extra ultrasound in 2 weeks to get those measurements! I thought I would be happy about the extra pictures but really, I'm nervous of the same out come of the last one! It was pretty ridiculous. I thought it was the waffles and grape juice I drank before the appointment to get him moving.

As for everything else, we are doing well! This dude is kicking me as I type this, in fact. I still cannot believe we have made it to this point. Saying we feel blessed is the understatement of the year! We are beyond blessed-- purely a miracle!

18 weeks! (tomorrow)

I would never had though in a million years that I would be at 18 weeks (this picture was from our NT at 12 weeks)! Crazy thought! On top of being 18 weeks, we are (read that: The Husband is) painting our front room for our little dude. It looks awesome and I can't wait to start getting things together. This whole school thing sure is getting in the way of becoming a new mom. This weekend was definitely a busy weekend for us. Besides the painting that is getting done, our new crib that the in-laws bought came in. While I went to Target, The Husband and his dad went to pick it up. I LOVE IT! We were looking at our calendar and after this weekend, we are almost booked solid! There is so much fall and holiday stuff...I can hardly contain myself. I'm glad we are able to get this stuff done now or we'd be in January/February trying to get everything together. Funny how time becomes very relative when the holidays come around!

Sorry I've been MIA!

I feel like I haven't posted in forever... Which is pretty close to the truth. For some reason I thought I would "jinx" myself. I refuse to believe in the humbo jumbo anymore.

We are pregnant!

About 16 weeks actually!


It's amazing to have gotten this far and see my little poppy grow and grow! We have an appointment on Monday to do my first glucose tolerance tests and we are doing a gender scan!! It's all so surreal, it's hard to believe its real!

The past year was one of the hardest--- scratch that---- it was the hardest time I've ever had. After coming of the "suspected partial molar" experience and subsequent d&c in April, we booked our miscarriage cruise! I highly suggested a beautiful relaxing vacation after a loss. It allows you to disappear for a week to gather your thoughts and lets you grieve on your own (with your partner).

We were told to wait 6 months, but while on our cruise we felt our "calling" was to do foster care. When we got home we hit the ground running. We were 3 weeks from being licensed when I needed to take provera to start my cycle after the d&c. I took a precautionary HPT and got those two lines. I was so SAD. I was kicking myself for not following my hcg to zero. I had followed it to under 100 but went on vacation and just forgot. My veins were so shot after all this, it was a needed break. After a few hectic weeks... We confirmed we have a sticky bean! Thank you, God! What a pleasant surprise!!!!

Deciding on Foster/Adopt

We have touched on foster/adopting through the state before but really wanted to try to have a biological child first, then pursue that option. On our vacation, The Husband brought it up. I have always been open to it but he was more apprehensive. He feels compelled to start the process! We have chosen an agency and are slowly gathering things to set the house up to be prepared for the home study. We begin our classes next week and could not be any more thrilled! Its an amazing feeling to have the ball rolling in the right direction for once. So as we get the process started, Ill be able to update a little more often!

Where to begin? post-miscarriage vacation!

It was pretty hard after the D&C to come on her to write something. I did not want to rehash emotions that I had finally felt like I had resolved. Its crazy to feel accomplished if you made it a day without wanting to lose it. I was also in the middle of finals for school- so that wasn't a de-stresser, that's for sure! We were able to go on vacation shortly after (about two weeks) the procedure....BEST MONEY SPENT EVER! I think every couple deserves a post-miscarriage vacation.

We ended up going on a cruise...yes, I know what you're thinking.....Everyone told me how crazy we were for doing it. And YES it was Carnival. After the hell we have been through, ANYTHING would be a vacation at this point. We had a FABULOUS time! We were at sea for a day first, which turned out to be very windy and chilly from some weather passing through. The next day, we were in Key West, FL where we did a pub crawl with our dinnermates that we had met. It was one of our favorite moments of the whole week. WHAT FUN! In Freeport (bahamas) we went out on a boat and went reef snorkeling. Beautiful! In Nassau, I found a resort that was all inclusive. Best decision! The Husband and I cut loose and had a great time. Following that was another 2 days at sea before we arrived home.

It was really REALLY really needed. We needed that time away from our every day life to just stop and enjoy each other. It was great to get away, even if I did miss my pups so much. Im pretty sure The Husband even made me a towel Shiner so I had something to cuddle with.

While on vacation, Key West..mid pub crawl actually haha, my doctor (actual DOCTOR..usually it is the nurse) called to tell me the results of my pathology. We had received results and she told me them at my check-up post op, but she was not very convinced with their results. She told me she was having them run even more tests on them to make sure she could accurately give me a diagnosis. In the end, she told me that it "could" have developed into a partial polar pregnancy, as the path lab said there were parts that were questionable. She said she'd like to see me wait 3 months and then we can move along from there. I'm satisfied with this and was glad to get that call when we did. It gave The Husband and I  'permission' to relax and have fun.

So here we go!

Vacation day...oh yeah and Mother's Day too.

I thought I had prepared myself for Mother's Day this year. It's especially painful with two losses in the past year. I'm so ready for that excitement once again. Today instead of dwelling-- my dashing young (he is funny and loves me to introduce him as that) are going on a cruise! I am so ready to get out of here for a week. I'm sure going to miss our weenie dogs though! I actually did decent in school this past semester, by the grace of God. I don't know how I passed!

So just over 2 weeks I am back to normal 100%. I meant to post last week but with finals there was no way. I only bled for a couple of days at my week mark or so. It wasn't horrible but it was torture because I have to use a pad. Totally not used to all that. If you're going through it-don't google! It told me I needed to go to the ER. Take your painkillers and go to bed. By a week and a half you're doing great!:)


I'm ready to complete one of the most painful days of the year. We are all in this together. Just smile and nod if someone asks you hurtful questions or dares to tell you happy Mother's Day. Remember that they do not know your situation and your struggles. It's not always fair to hold it against them..and more importantly let those mothers around you enjoy. Though we are hurting, it doesn't not deny others from the joy.

See y'all next week!